Helpless
08 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
In this idea of making a wind up toy you need all the parts, the right tools, the right mindset.
First you make the parts into the whole, the frame, the body, the strength of the toy.
Then you work on the intricacies of the washers, knobs, screws, plates, the soul, the things to make it all run.
This is easy enough, a few jolts here and there, oopsies, and redues, but nothing major. You have your toy made.
Now all you need to do is insert the key, the piece that winds up and makes the toy move and feel the motion of creation you spent time on…
uh-oh! There is none. Where did it go?! It was right here a minute ago! The only part that is needed to make it work fully!! There is no other piece that fits…I saw it right here, but where did it go??
There is no other.
Awareness
03 Apr 2012 1 Comment
Awareness,
of self is the magical feeling
of being in tune with oneself
knowing how one feels
feeling what one feels
being who one is
Awareness,
of soul is the exhileration
of seeing what cannot be seen
of breathing in the essence
of crying from the inside out
of tingles, fusion, and energy
Awareness,
of you is love
of connecting in the many moments
of being outside one’s body and exploring another
of purely giving without expectation
Awareness
of breath is to breathe it all in
to concentrate on every detail
to renew, refresh, refocus
to exhale.
Awareness.
Real Fantasty
29 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
The morning dew is surrounded by the noise of the traffic that passes by.
Birds begin to chirp, flowers to wake up and the clouds lift from a slumber to which we all arise.
Love, begins.
As the sunrises and shares its warmth on us, coffee is brewed, we get dressed to start a new day…who knows what magical happenings will come out of this brand new routine.
The construction workers ride their horses to the sight, the businessmen choosing a leopard or a cool cat to race to the meandering streets of the downtown city. The race begins, the fairies are out playing with you… spilling coffee, making a red light, throwing out traffic tickets like flowers at a wedding.
The excitement begins… the day unfolds, love is found out.
There are no secrets in this morning ritual of random events. One look from a loved one makes everything melt in to a pot of deep dark chocolate. Sweet to the senses.
Mid-day begins, the pigs are hauled out for feeding time, horses given hay, ducks and chickens grains. Everyone is fed, the rush for the afternoon siesta begins, but there is still that one lady with a tall walk and golden hair, we all wait for to pass by to give us a sense of passion, drive.
We wait. We hope. We wait. We hope.
Rush hour. Get home, get home, get home, get home. There are many things to do still we have fours of daylight to burn… Eat. Clean. Sleep.
Start the day again.
This time in the view of a lover.
The morning dew is surrounded by the warmth of opening your eyes, seeing his face.
A smile sings to you, your heart beats, you hear the sleepy willow begin to raise its’ leaves to embrace the one who lies next you.
Love, begins.
As the sunrises and shares its warmth on us, coffee is brewed, we get dressed to start a new day…who knows what magical happenings will come out of this brand new routine.
Its that time in the day to join the masses, to dream of each other, to create new stories and new laughs to share. Did a fairy catch you today?
The excitement begins… the day unfolds, love is found out.
There are no secrets in this morning ritual of random events. One look from a loved one makes everything melt in to a pot of deep dark chocolate. Sweet to the senses.
Mid-day begins. Lovers are hungry for a taste of each other. Can they make time in the day to be sated? Maybe yes, maybe no, either way the hunger is one where it gets better with time… the yearning, the passion, the drive.
We wait. We hope. We imagine. We wait.
Passion grows.
Rush hour. Get home, get home, get home, get home. There are many things to do still we have fours of daylight to burn… embrace, enjoy, love, laugh, share a moment, a smile, a lingering thought that was carried through the day. Love. Eat. Love. Clean. Love. Sleep.
Start the day again.
Go.
07 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
The places we go, there are so many.
How does one remember the names, when all I remember are the faces. In a name there is a lot of meaning, but for me the faces show what is true. The face, the scent, the touch is what comes through.
The places we go, there are so many.
I smell the air and the freshness is taken in. I see the dance dissipate, and I see the dance return. It blends into what is around and I remember. All of these senses that happen are not taken for granted but instead continue to glow like an ember.
The places we go, there are so many.
Reaching out and touching the textures, feeling the motion of the wind. Which direction will this lead me? Leaving it up to chance, to fate, to random serendipitous intrigues. This life is meant to be … so I take it upon myself to scour the many leagues.
The places we go, there are so many, we have all just begun this infinite journey.
Constant Giggle!
13 Jun 2011 2 Comments
in KOREA
Finding new people new places and things to do.
I’m realizing I am beginning to fancy this place more and more. Summer, definitly has the aspects of glorious weather, sunshine and light and people all around in a better mood has something to do with it, I suppose. The more and more that I explore the more and more I realize that there is lots more than concrete… the concrete that encapsulated my emotions when I first got here.
It’s strange, Korea is so.. so normal… and the wierd little shananigins that go on here everyday seem more and more like a bit of a world I would create…. although I do admit there would be more rainbows and butterflies and moss and deer and bunnies and what not…
The other day my friend Julia and I were walking to the beloved Home Plus. Along the way, on our padded path above the river where there is another padded path along the river with workout equipment lining the side and dropping off to another, tennis courts, basketball courts and random flower gardens and what not, there was a line dance group going strong down by the river… about 30 people just getting into it… one lady leading them all on a platform. Brilliant… but this is not where the amazingness stops… on the other side of the river… exactly on beat, with the same amount of people… exactly parallel to our side was another group of line dancers… oh my gosh! INcredible brilliance plus five really!!!!
I mean, little things like this happen everywhere.. my favorite thing so far though, that this place has to offer is the plethora of cell phone stores… I know.. but wait… on the outside of these brilliant stores are always dancing green spaceman shaped machines that have motion sensors and move to the best beat and look from afar as though they are real people dress up dancing… oh the smiles that cross my face everytime I pass by.
When I visit Daegu, a city that is about 2.5 hrs away… now adays.. that is like 5 mins to me….. we walked by a construction zone… best safety man I have ever seen was letting people know that there was construction ahead. Hehe.. it as well was a machine, dressed in safety gear, helmet and high vis. and all!!! This amazing safety man machine has an arm that bends up and down with a light attached, sometimes he wears rain gear, sometimes has his summer apparell on. Pretty much again… I can’t help but smile.
Korea… the little things show up everywhere and it is so important to keep your head up so as to not miss the little intrigues that are arising every step of the way.
Goodness Wrapped in Fog
08 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Life
This past weekend was amazing. It was Buddhas’ birthday weekend, technically it is isn’t until Tuesday, but all the festivities happened this weekend. A nice long weekend. 
Wednesday night, hopped on a bus, went to a beautiful park, just outside a city called Socho, to Seorakasan. A glorious, jagged, hiking and climbing backdoor playground with its very own little biosphere. We arrive in Socho at 2 in the morning, needing a bed for the night, we look to our left and wallah… a motel… we enter, the price is fair, so my friend Julia and I split a room, and her friend Ricky takes another, we go upstairs, say goodnight to Ricky as he leaves for his floor, and we try to enter our room.. cannot for the life of me open the door, Julia laughs at me and lo and behold… when she tries neither can she. We go downstairs, to find Ricky already there…. trying to get a new room as well, he was able to open the door, however when he looked in there was already a big snoring man sleeping in his bed…. YIKES. So as we are calmly asking for a different arrangement, the lady’s husband in his jammies comes down the stairs, they bicker and bicker, we are staring… looking at each other… Uh…. Uh…. room?? they pay us no attention, instead as they continue to bicker, she pulls out a wad of bills and hands us our money back… done.
Ok… next motel it is!!
Way more successful, way nicer and same price! Good deal!! We sleep wonderfully, wake up and hop on bus to our final destination. Seoraksan. To stay at a wonderful little hotel right in the park… views to behold. Foggy views… but still gorgeous. I start feeling not so well and decided to not explore but meet my friends later for the temple bell ring. I sleep all day, get up to go to the bell and still feel awful… oh my goodness… shaky and feverish… how fun. I am awake waiting for the bell that failed to come and besides going to the hot springs like was planned, they left, and I slept. 
24 hours of sleep. Next day feel better, we go on a wonderful hike to a cave where it is just magical. Misty, high climb, beautiful landscape, can’t see a thing. A monk chant playing in the cave, a place to pray, and fresh spring that tasted like heaven and a man who lives on the side of this mountain ledge cave who pops up to answer his cell phone. Hahah, amazing. Anything is possible people.
When we returned we went straight to the lantern festival, it was amazing, the longest parade I have ever been to. Clapping, cheering, just pure wonderful fun. The night continues, and although I am about ready to go home.. the music changes… I can’t help myself, I begin to dance.
This is one of my favorite moments I have felt dancing. Not dancing with anyone, but with everyone. feeling like I am magic on the floor, not doing anything fancy or whatnot, but just being free, being me and floating away. I felt like I could move my body for years, just dance. My bliss. My home. It was amazing.
I had such a wonderful time. But I realized I was sad, angry, happy, hoping, free, wanting, brilliant… everything.
Each move had an emotion to it. I could dance forever because of all that I feel, it was coming out, releasing me like never before. I was told how wonderful I am, then I was reminded of silence, I was told how special, and fascinating I am, then I remembered the silence. Happy, angry, happy, sad, happy, disappointed. … happy. 
Anything can happen.
People have choices, but I feel like we forget sometimes that there isn’t just black and white, but a whole spectrum of colour, of choices to choose from within a single moment.
I couldn’t stop saying it last night, and still can’t stop saying, … just dance and be in the moment. Why make things soo difficult?
Hahaha, this was my weekend. Goodness W
rapped in Fog.
Reflections in the Mirror
17 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
Looking at yourself what do you see?
Someone who thinks, is, and can be
Someone who listens, speaks and respects
And on the surface feels accepted and not like one of the rejects.
Looking at your reflection needs more time.
At least thats what I need when I look at mine.
Now look in your heart and what does it show,
a shining light that soo wants to glow.
Pieces of pain, of love and laughter
All these combined create so many chapters.
All the stories, each one unique,
biting the lip to keep looking deep.
To see oneself is the most intimate one can be
but to show another… wouldn’t it feel free??
Thoughts, reflections, experiences of truth,
keep showing your honesty, your bliss, even if it’s uncouth
The last one you see before you close your eyes,
is the first who knows beyond the skies
if you are happy or if you are blue
So look in the mirror at the reflection of you.
what did you, who did you see, where did you go… I like to know
31 Mar 2011 3 Comments
in KOREA
SO basically, I don’t know how to make the pictures look better… heheh… bare with me all….
Ok, time for my babble… lets see what happens this time round.
One month in Korea, one month working a full time job, one month …. whoa… where did it go? Feels like forever, but as well just blink. Finally, I have am feeling more comfortable with the work load… still trying to cut it down more… that will take time and finess on my part, so work is in progress and I do feel better about it. The kids are super fun and cute and motivate me to keep on looking for more fn things to do with them… keep them occupied while learning… this week we are learning about the weather… itsy bitsy spider … loves it!!!! Report cards happend this past week as well.. uber stressed as, but held it together and know what not to do next time!!! OH my gosh!!! Work is… work… and really, it is getting some getting used too… I haven’t worked a full time job.. a regular full time job… basically ever… super new to me and I am not sure if I am cut out for a regular full time job… hahah it isn’t even that regular.. being a teacher goes around those 9-5 outlines.. but still… getting used to it.
Lets see, adventures… I am getting to know the city, I am going out and about by myself more and with one or two people who also don’t know whats going on but we are having a wonderful time getting to know the area. The subway freaked me out when I first got here… 9 different lines, and all over the place… now… i love it… color coded and splendid!!really amazing transit! Even the buses aren’t so bad… no idea where they go and can’t really read the signs but everytime have been lucky and ended up where I needed to go…. Surprisingly enough… no getting lost… yet.
We have created wine, or bath or both… decompression nights on Wednesdays. It is a life saver for the week and is something to get over that hump… very enjoyable and silly. Its nice chillin with the ladies. On the weekend a couple of us went to an art show, the artisit was Chagall, my friend Tovah introduced me to his work and I gotta say… would put some of his work on my wallls… which is something for me because I feel too picky most times to want to have a specific piece on my wall. So, yes, very neat and wonderful. The Korean Art museum was something just by itself too, very beautiful and huge and a great location. After the show we went for a belly dance lesson, it was pretty amazing… soo fun, I don’t know if it is enough movement for me though… but who knows… we will see what becomes of it.
I have explored the mountain and river by my home on most Sunday afternoons and I really like it as a reflection time, at the moment, it is ugly, beautiful and yellow, it kinda reminds me of Calgary in the winter. The warmer weatehr is making an appearance slowly so hopefully with it will come green and many other colors that I have been soo yearning to seee… I am in desparate need of my lovely nature. I bought a plant and it makes me happy.. 
I think this is all I am going to write for now… but maybe some feeling for you… I feel happy, and sometimes a bit in need of love, never lonely and mostly excited. I just miss you (my puppy love, family and friends) and am finally getting into a routine where I can think about you more… hehe, overall though, sending much love love love actions to you and many hugs and wonderfulness!!!!
Until next time…
A constant babble of aubs
09 Mar 2011 3 Comments
in KOREA
Time to share and babble of Aubrey isms, no grammar, maybe a little and probably spelling errors… just going to go with the flow and see what comes out for you all to read.
Let’s start with today. March 9, 2011, first day I have felt like, oh, ok. i can do this. oh ok, it’s not a ridiculous amount of confusion. Im getting it. HOooray, i celebrated out loud to myself this afternoon in the staff room… others shared my enthusiasm, finally i smiled for no reason except of just being damn proud of myself.
Let’s break down my day and the students for you. In the morning, I am in charge of ten little gems which is known as melon class. My co-teacher is currently in charge of 10 little diamonds in the rough???? i hope…. called banana class. Both classes are my main agenda. teaching each one an 80 min class… today about the letter a and colours and monkey’s jumping on the bed. i just sing and do the hockey pockey for them. so really fun, just practicing my voice for nori bong… which is amazing by the way!!!
after, my is little gems of melon and hopefully soon to be not soo rough bananas leave for the afternoon, time to plan my next class… SAP1. pure work. reading and being all business like, covering so many topics in just 40min. after them i plan for SAP3. science, for someone, me, who never really liked science, i am doing quite well, probably becasue at the moment it is about plants and animals… my favorite subjects… the kids are great, about 10 years old and higher level english, so less acting and frustration, more, conversation and definitions. i think i enjoy this class immensely and look forward to being able to have enrgy to be fun with it moreso. Finally. we have SAP4 , pure book club. these kids are silly little ones, but so far, interested in what i say.. hope that doesn’t wear out… everything is pretty straight forward after having it spelled out and shown on paper, i didn’t have that… training was a blur in my mind, i hardly remeber.
Other than school, i have been dancing, of course, and staying out till 5 and realizing whoa… where has the time gone. i have travelled to a few different parts of the city, one university area, dance central and one military area.. cheap wings at a canadian bar… rocky mountain house… meant to be. also i have explored a bit of the market of dongdaemun, but need to go there more and at night. this city is crazy, beautiful and an ocean of buildings.. literally. I hiked a mountain that was close by, and when we reached the outlook, all the other hills, and mountains that were not lived on, but still green with the pine trees looked like islands admist the ocean of city. Seoul vastness.. is unyielding! so much concrete… so much so that i have dreamt constantly about rain forests and trees and outdoor wildlife, i even had a lucid dream whilst in a forest and flew within it!!! haha…
my apartment is little, but not small as you would think. it is comfortable and cozy and just suites one perfectly. i have a little couch a table , a wardrobe, washing machine, heated floors and big window and other basics. its perfect. it took forever to clean though.. kinda dirty when i moved in… but it feels goodnow. the shower is somethign to get used to… knowing where the water will leak, and just really getting used to showering in the middle of the bathroom.. kinda strange to be looking at the toilet and mirror and door while you shower. .. but the water is hot and that’s really what matters.
People i have met here are amazing thus far. me thinks that everyone is just living it right now. super friendly, excited for the same things and just ready to explore…. lots of interests, lots of intrigue, lots to do and good people to do it with. im excited to feel more like me… i have just begun the process of getting back into the groove of aubrey.. haha… its a fun one to be in but work has to come first sometimes.. so .. work it is at the moment.. creating a home and a comfort of my neighbour… not soo bad by the way. i love how every alley way is made use of.. flashy lights, restuarants galour, super friendly, quite quiet actually. getting used to the smells and being a random canadian admist the koreans. my favorite thing though is that i have a chain of mountains just across a bridge from me.. about tfifteen to twenty minute walk away and more just a short train ride away!!! so good to have that escape… maybe no more going to the ocean for this girl, but definintly going to the mountain… beau would love that part… hate everything else… but love the hiking part ahaha.
this upcoming weekend i am off to daegu, another city altogether, by way of ktx, or korean train express. it will take about an 1.5 hr to get to. i look forward to the difference i will see and the newness once again of a strange place. i hear it is completely different from where i am now so i look forward to it alot. there is also a sleepover monk temple that we can go to and just see that side of korean culture too.. i look forward to doing that one day, they say the fall is the best due to being surrounded by the many leaves and colours and smells that autumn brings… i know it is my favorite season for sure!!! but yes… super excited for this journey that is about to take place.
i will be taking many photo’s and figure out how to post some on here… so no worries. pictures will come.
alright, i have come to the end of my babbling brook of mind thoughts that are streaming continueously out my fingertips…
again i apologize for my many spelling errors, and grammar tactics… it is what it is and it is me at this moment.. still babbling..
enjoy your days, nights and smiles.
love love love <3
Always Together, Never Apart
20 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
Going away, to a far distant place, going away, with all my grace
To feel so at home where I have never been, makes me look up to the sky and grin.
The days have passed and change has occured, and through all the visions non have been blurred.
I reach up high, as I feel the rain, I won’t look back to feel the pain.
Friends I have loved and lovers who have faded, will always be remembered and honored for what you have created,
for who I am, is apart of you, and you and you and you and you. So don’t be blue,
smile for me, for this is a start of a new journey.
Enjoying the moments, enjoying the bliss, but the time has come to give one last kiss.
We will meet again, in a different time, you will always be a friend of mine.
I am going away, to a far distant place, going away but I will rememeber all your grace.
To all my lovely friends and family in Canada My Journey to Korea begins!!
