It’s Just Around the Bend…
25 Jan 2011 2 Comments
in General Life
In life, people learn how to direct others, how to read a map, latitude, longitude, street signs, red light, green light, one way, turn left, turn right, go catawampus… so many signs. However, not all who can read a compass can follow a map.
Let’s talk about getting lost. I, Aubrey Medwid, am a wonder at it, yet I always find my way…it just takes a little longer. For the past two years I have been working at a company to which we travel about an hour out of town, winding this way, flowing that way, construction rewinding over there. One would think that after two years of driving this route, Aubrey Medwid could figure it out. Not the right assumption. I come to this one intersection, there is a bridge to my left, and three other ways to go. I need to go straight, but my feeling every time is to cross that bridge. About once in every five trips out, I do. About once in every five trips I am convinced for a good ten minutes that it is the right way. After that ten minutes pass, there is another intersection, since it is leading the correct way I should be going, I follow it. Now twenty minutes pass, and all of a sudden I am in the middle of nowhere where there is random mountainous landscape, cliffs, forest, beautiful homes… and a dead end. Definitly not the right way and no way out but retracing my steps. The best part of this adventure that I take, is that I am so convincing to others that I know my way, the passenger in the seat next to me, has faith and believes in me that we will make it, and our destination is ‘just around the bend’.
Another classic ‘just around the bend’ mannerism of mine, happend one fateful day last spring. As the activity coordinator for ESL(english as a second language) students, the ambassador of touring these lovely humans around Vancouver and giving them a taste of Canada. I decided it would be fun to go into Stanley Park and play some good old fashion soccer. Looking for the field in which this activity was going to partake, not so easy of a story. We hop on a bus, get dropped off, I look at a map and take a wrong turn…somewhere?? Entering the Stanley Park wall, clearly not on the right path, but don’t worry everyone, we ‘are just around the bend!!’ Walking, walking, walking… this is an activity that ESL students do not like, before long, (long meaning after an hour) the questions arise. After long (one and half hours), I finally admit that we are the wrong way and where we want to be is up on the cliff that is to our left and there’s no way to it. I offer two choices, turn back or simply push forward to the beach(that may or not may not be… just around the bend). Since I am a master at keeping moral up, they follow. Another half hour…. AHHHHHHHh… heavenly sounds, light beams shining throught the clouds… the beach. I ask if they want to play soccer on the beach… at first very tentative, unsure, and a bit disappointed, but as soon as we begin the game, this misadventure turned out to be one of our most memorable activities!!
There have been many more incidents of myself losing the way, being confident and coaxing others to join me in my crazy ideas. I really hope these incredible moments continue… even if I admitted to my disoriented orientation…follow me?
Life: Taught by a Penguin, Not Just an Equation!
20 Jan 2011 1 Comment
in General Life
In reply to the comment posted by Jack Day to my previous blog about the equation of life, I believe that through introspective thought and through keeping my eyes and heart open, I have come up with a more solid foundation, or equation, to this thing we call “life”. At least, this is my perspective, and how I would like to face each day. Therefore, come with me yet again on this circular road to find out where my equation stands….
Before, I feel like I still did not break down the rudimentary meanings of these three simple words. Knowledge, love and fear. I thought too much. So here, let’s try once more.
The basics:
Knowledge: To be aware of what is.
Fear: Lack of love
Love: Knowledge with the recognition of fear, and always moving forward.
You see, these words are way simpler when not over thought or looked up.
Moving on to how I have come up with the following equation from what I have understood from these three words and from what I see in this world.
If you take a look at the King Penguin for instance, they are tall, powerful, full of lust for life. They have many challenges that they have to face; storms, predators, ice, hunger, and they hold their eggs for 55 days!! They do all this for “survival” or if I personify it, love. They jump even if they know a seal is lurking, when one parent is looking after the young the other goes and eats and becomes strong for they will be trading positions shortly and they always take a chance with what they are doing. I feel that penguins are a very positive creature, and I like to think that I could learn from them and stay on the positive side.
Hence, my break down:
Life = Love + Knowledge + Fear
All these combined make up the many choices, the many perspectives, the many realities that I create in my life. Having all the above and being able to be apart of that is who I am. It is my being.
My fear: Darkness, losing faith,
My Knowledge: I am here, this is the now.
My love: Me. You. Chance. Feeling happy and thankful everyday.
All this and way more makes me who I am.
So what’s your equation?
The Search
15 Jan 2011 1 Comment
I’m sitting here, feeling grand
Looking for something that could make me stand
I see a tree standing true, a leaf falls off into the blue
Chorus:
The search can be a wild one
Full of light
The search can be a calm time waiting for a moment that’s right
your choice of adventure is flowing right by
So choose the path that will make you fly.
Watching the time go freely by,
the river flows out of my mind.
When all of a sudden, stung by a bee, no one here to help me.
(Chorus)
Snapped backn into reality,
the burning is soo deep
but I stand up and look to the sky
I just found my reason why…
(Chorus)
Searching for your mountain is coming up fast,
what will inspire you to take the task
is it a sting of a bee, or something you heard while out for tea
either way, it’s in you, so stand up high and learn to fly…
(Chorus)
Simple math… is there such a thing?
13 Jan 2011 1 Comment
in General Life
“Something to think about..everything in life breaks down to three simple things: fear, love and knowledge. Figure out your own equation” he said, a customer from Starbucks, he comes in, orders, or in reality, just receives his usual grande coffee in a venti cup with an added espresso shot.
My own equation, life is equaled to love plus fear plus knowledge. I want to add in Choice. Can I cross multiply, do I need to long divide? Or will it equal ERROR no matter what? To create my own equation; this will take some random, sporadic, rambling that takes me in circles and you along for the ride. Let’s see how straight shooting I can be with my introspections.
With every good equation, Pythagorean’s theorem for example, you must break it down. So let’s begin with fear.
Fear, defined by dictionary.com is: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined.
That means to me that there is a whole lot fear to be had in this world and in my own mind. Why does it affect me so? Answer: Knowledge, or lack there of. So what is knowledge?
Knowledge defined by dictionary.com is: the body of truths or facts accumulated in the course of time. (that was my favorite definition out of 9)
In life, we are receiving tid-bits and large sums of experience everywhere we go. Accumulating these at every moment. We are knowledge, we are that body and through our life is the amount of knowledge that we have acquired. Through these experiences, that , only I am having, only you are having, we gain our knowledge. It can be as simple as buying a banana for 56 cents, or as difficult as being tossed out to the streets to survive on your own when you are already in a downward spiral. Those are yours, mine and the other guys own truth, own knowledge. What we do with that knowledge is where choice comes in. But first, let’s discuss love. What is it?
As defined by dictionary.com, the beloved source this time around, it is: a profoundly, passionate affection for another person.
With this definition, I already see some things that I need to add right off the bat. It says ‘for another person’ but what about self. Can I not feel this passion for myself? If I don’t love myself then fear wins automatically. Right?! Also, can’t love be for some ‘thing’? I feel that this term, love, is ineffable, yet, is it though? Is it rational? Can you control this feeling, even if you have knowledge of it? Furthermore, that brings up the thought of having no knowledge of love, what of that, if you don’t know, then how do you love, how does that affect ones life? Love is huge!
Again, I feel that little, hidden word comes into play… Choice. Your free will to decided which option you would rather have affect your life. You choose to let fear intervene in your life or not, you choose to let love in or not, you choose to become aware of these truths, or you do not, but then if you do not, fear is the underlying culprit of what holds you back. So then, what must this equation be.
I feel that if when making a choice I think about my options… Knowledge. Once I have deciphered these, admitting it or not, then I choose, and that choice is what equals whether or not I choose fear, or love. Therefore, my equation is… Knowledge divided by choice times love divided fear = plus or minus X ( K/C x L/F = -/+X ) My choice is to decided whether or not the fear is too big for love to take over or if love is the way that I want to trust.
I’m already second guessing this equation. Wanting to add, wanting to take away, maybe drop in a remainder, and bring it back to the absolute of - the positive way in which I like to live my life – love . I never was that great with math, so for now I will leave it at that, and keep on thinking about my equation in life.
Purgative Medicine
11 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Life
Purging.
To rid yourself of everything that has been acquired. Let go. This means all materials that you have.
Funny how when you let go of items, you are also letting go of the past, of what you have become, the material memories; yet everything you actually need is in your mind, you heart and your being. We hold on to things for so long, and feel like they are apart of us, and question what we will do without them. In most cases, such as mine, the items that are being given away are ones that were not even used half of the time. But it is hard.
Letting go, accepting the current situation, knowing what you know at the moment. Being true to who you are. These are things that count. No matter what pressures are sprung upon you unfairly or misperceived; once you break it all down everything leads to either fear or love. Both intangible objects. SO why do we put soo much emphasis on the objects, why does getting rid of them make the past creep up, even if it has nothing to do with anything, happy or sad. One answer, fear.
Purging is more than just getting rid of the materials, it is a cleanse of your whole being. Once you are able to let go of that energy, that fear, you will find that letting go of the “things” is no problem. Love. Easy. Smooth. Just you. No expectations.
Try it.
Bitten by a Crocodile
07 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
- Sand dunes, Colorado
I always find dreaming to be one of those inescapable wonders that creep up and make you think about a certain image, symbol, colour, animal… thing all day long… there must be a deeper meaning.
Currently, I am obsesssing over my last dream which had a whole plot and adventure sequence to it, do I remember the entirity of this dream. No. Instead, this one scene plays in my mind. Here it is.. as broken as it may seem…
It begins with entering a room, set up in a scene that represents a zoo like facility, but not at all. There is a moat, with a bridge across, the bridge is white, with a knee high rail to ensure the safety of those that cross… right… I look to my right, there is a huge 8ft long crocodile floating peacefully in the water.. “oh no” I look to my left, more surround this area that I need to cross. So carefully, I start walking across this brigde. All of a sudden CHOMP! A crocodile has bitten my leg, do I panic? No. Simply I think, ” how strange, it doesn’t hurt, but I should get it off.” As I try to shake it loose, I fall forward and back first into the water, where the 8ft. croc awaits. I am underwater ” ooh, this could be bad, getting into water with crocodiles? Not my best idea.” I am looking up to the air, and see the other croc. coming down for me, I can’t move, I’m not scared. Darkness.
All of sudden I am back up, at the front area that I started, I see the crocs. But this time, someone is with me, and across the way, an elephant (juvenile) is attempting to distract the crocs from us so that we can pass. The poor elephant looks as though he is being completely ripped apart. But he is succeeding, and his dad is there helping. we are able to cross and from there…. the dream dwindles in my mind as the adventure continues…
Why remember this scene? What does it mean in my life? Does it have an underlying message? Or simply is a dream just a scene, is it what it is? Think back to those scenes, dreams, images that are there, how have they had an affect?
Through my experience, I have always believed that dreaming is the secret of what the heart wants/feels. Dreaming is the way the mind lets go and unlocks the door. It’s just a matter of how you choose to interpret/perceive it.
Awake
05 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
Tobacco Caye, Belize
Illusions, reality, differences.
Each one it’s own separate being.
Love, death, life.
Each one it’s own separate being.
All things are connected. All things come from the same source. Look further down the road than you’ve looked.
But take it one step, one rung, one root, one turn, your ‘present’, at a time.
See it, become it, then you are being at the moment, it. Confused?
Think about it. Clear your mind. Concentrate on each moment. Be awake. Each moment, stop.
You either want to or you do not. If you want it, take action, no hesitation required. No self-doubt…only you have the power. Only you can change your life. Only you can see reality. Only you can make things clear.
Realize you know nothing. Realize “the more you know, the less you know”. Realize you are apart of a huge process. Realize life is so much more, YOU are so much more, WE are so much more.
Questions that you seek, your answers will only be true if you experience them. You know by experience.
“Seeing is knowing” Seeing isn’t believing, not seeing is believing.
Everything has it’s role. Be the role, or be you. Change what path you are on. There always open doors. Your attitude is the path of life you will take, you are the only one with the power.
Illusions, differences, reality, love, death, life : each one connected, each one its own being, together.
Awake.
